Move Forward in Life- Give Up These 3 Cs!

Two cacti on orange and black pots; stop comparing yourself to others to move forward in life

I realised a long time ago- although still quite late in my opinion- that to move forward you need to drop excess baggage.  Whether its weight, or the scheming manipulative people around you, or physical clutter or debt or self defeating habits; to move forward these have to go.

I struggle with some habits I am not very proud of. The perfectionist in me wants every area of my life to reflect who I am and if, for any reason, they don’t I switch to panic mode. If I am to move forward in a meaningful productive way I know I must confront them head on.

You can probably see yourself in the Cs below;

 

Comparing Yourself To Others- Stop!

Two cacti on orange and black pots; stop comparing yourself to others to move forward in life
You are unique- stop comparing yourself.
Photo courtesy of Unsplash

I can write about it now because, while it has taken me a while, I no longer do myself this injustice.

Neither should you.

You are unique down to your fingerprints. Your path is not going to be the same as anyone else’s. Don’t check to see where people your age, your academic level, in your community are at this point in time. Don’t even compare yourself to your siblings or other family members. You will almost always fall short.

There will always be someone way ahead of you in every area. So what?

I remember when I was in high school I was thrilled when I- finally! – beat the resident genius, one B. Patel in one or two subjects. This meant I would take home the award this time and not him. I told everyone who knew who B. Patel was (the one to whom every academic trophy invariably went every year) that I was “better” than him in that regard.

My Big Bro was not impressed.

He told me that the only person I should focus on being better than today was the me of yesterday.

I get it that in this Instagram era it can be hard to do this. Remember, people post only the shiny wonderful side of their lives for all to see. You will remain stuck for as long you measure yourself against other people.

You are still worthy wherever you are right now.

Don’t allow others to compare you either!

Carve your own path and follow your own calling.

 

Complain much? Don’t Do it!

There is much we can genuinely lament about without even thinking long and hard about it. There are issues so wrong we need to bring awareness to them by shouting from the rooftops. And we should.

But every day inconveniences? Or complaining for the sake of it? Or just to make conversation?

What we put our energy on grows. Negative energy festers. It brings about a discontentment and ultimately a lack of gratitude. This then leads us to take most of what we have for granted and it’s downhill from there.

So your boss is a witch, your coworkers are Satan’s helpers, your kitchen is too small, the traffic is awful, the weather is stifling hot, the house help unhelpful, etc.

 

Person holding phone displaying stop complaining text screen grab. Stop complaining to move forward
Stop complaining                                         Photo Courtesy of Unsplash

I tried going without complaining about anything a whole day and – while I have never considered myself much of a complainer in the first place- I was shocked to realise that I do a lot of it. It forced me to focus on all what is good and positive in my life and I can tell you it has changed me.

Being Critical- of yourself and others- that’s a no-no.

Calling yourself to account every so often is praiseworthy but always finding fault with yourself ? That is a recipe for disaster. And from there it’s just a short trip to being overly critical of others as well.

What need are you not addressing by always being critical? Digging deep and looking inwards will reveal some insights to your character that you were unaware of. Being critical of yourself will lead you to confine yourself to a certain ‘comfort level ‘ unless you do something about it.

If you label yourself as someone with a very short attention span and forgetful you will convince yourself that you can’t enroll in a class that you have been salivating about.

Deciding that from now(and it takes practice) that you will think only kind thoughts about yourself and that you will give others the benefit of the doubt will act as petrol in your car. You will find such momentum that will leave you pleasantly surprised.

Remember things will change only when we do.

There are many Cs you can replace these ones with that will serve you better: like Compassion for yourself and others, Caring for yourself and others; and gathering some Confidence!

You can do it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Moving forward, self defeating habits, self-care, unhealthy comparing


najma

I am a mother of three, born and bred in Mombasa, Kenya. I am passionate about books, writing, healthy living and getting people to see the best of themselves. Especially getting people to see the best of themselves.

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