Find Your Best Self

What “Bad Days” Can Teach Us

I hesitate to call any day bad. A full twenty four hours does not deserve a label for what might have occurred during only a fraction of it.
But I also cannot dismiss the damage a single incident of probably a few seconds long can cause to one’s emotional balance. Or to his property.

It happens that there are some days that just aren’t meant to be your days. Somehow, everything that can go wrong does go wrong and you are left pounding your fists on the wall.

I know you probably have had more than your fair share of them- and it doesn’t help when everyone is telling you to have patience.

We aren’t angels, for Allah’s Sake, and even the most positive of people will also sometimes get p*ssd.

When nothing has gone right since the time you got up the last thing you need is someone telling you to look to the positive.

You should be allowed to feel annoyed. Correction: you earned the right to feel annoyed.

“Hey, it could have gone worse!” they insist.

And they would be right.

But how healthy is it stuffing down your frustrations; sweeping your feelings under the rug and pretending they don’t exist?

I am sure there have been times when the bad days have come for you one after the other. I know they have come for me many times usually with thunderstorm rage.

On such occasions I often find myself at a corner where I crawled to hide from their onslaught.

There I usually sit, defeated and demoralised, and then the soul searching  begins.

You have probably asked yourself the same questions I asked:¬† What am I meant to learn from them? What am I missing?”

In an Aha moment I realised “bad days” are meant to remind me, again, that I can plan but Allah is the best of planners.

It obviously is a lesson that bears repeating.

Bad days are meant to tell me that I cannot control everything in life as much as I would like to or try to.

They give me, when I show ingratitude for the blessings I have, a taste of what it would be like without them.

When I tend to move from my own authenticity, when I start to go into people pleasing mode, invariably something happens- usually something unpleasant.

I then am forced to recognise that it is meant to teach me my own uniqueness; that I don’t have to be like the other mothers, or other writers, or homemakers.

I don’t have to be a clone of the other women, I don’t have to look like them, act like them, parent like them or earn like them.

I have to be me.

And bad days are there to teach me that Allah has a different promise for each of us.

That when we refuse to accept this we get crappy days repeating themselves over and over until we get the message.

I am sure there are many other reasons why particularly horrible, sometimes even brutal days happen- only the Almighty knows what they are.

I can only suppose if our existence was always flowery and happy we would take it for granted.

We could say bad days are there to help us appreciate the good ones more.

They exist, I suppose, to build our character and strengthen our backbone. They are there to show us we ain’t the boss of us but God is.

Only then you realise that they aren’t really bad days- just lessons in disguise.

Dark clouds hiding the sky
There are no bad days just hidden lessons.

The secret is not to fight them.

Surrendering is the quickest way to recover from their impact.

Whether the nastiness of your bad day involved a tyrant boss, a spinechilling accident, a frustrating online exam, a fender bender, a fall out with your significant other or a tantrum throwing toddler; accepting that you are a having a challenging day will help you get over it soonest.

The last thing you should do is try to go over it with a fine tooth comb. The details and the whys and the lessons will reveal themselves to you when the time is right.

For now accept you are defeated, go home and count your losses (and your blessings).  Make yourself your favourite hot beverage and call it an early night.

Tomorrow the sun will come out again.

 

(Photo Courtesy of Henry&Co from Pexels)

Challenges, Coping, lessons, Surrender


najma

I am a mother of three, born and bred in Mombasa, Kenya. I am passionate about books, writing, healthy living and getting people to see the best of themselves. Especially getting people to see the best of themselves.

Comments (2)

  • 100% Um Usaamah. Comparison will gorever be the death of all happiness. I once read somewhere that a human being can suffer emotionally from an bad event in their life for only 20 minutes, and anything after that is suffering we subject ourselves to. Of course I might’ve read that wrong, or may have been totally made up but I find myself thinking about that sometimes. I’m rather conflicted about it, in one hand it’s dismissing my pain, and on the other, it’s rather freeing, like my 20 minutes is done, time to move. Weird, I know. But yeah, bad days are a huge part of our lives. Like you put it we resign to them but don’t dwell in them and the lessons just reveal themselves with time. Empowering piece as always.

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