10 More Things I would Tell My 20 Year Old Self

Hindsight, they say, is 20/20.

Almost six years ago in 2019,  I wrote 10 things I would tell my 20 year old self.

It remains one of the most popular posts on this blog.

I decided to write ten or more for not just the 20 year old out there (my own children included) but for anyone at any age.

We could all use a reminder every now and then – or a wake up call- so consider these an Eid gift from me to you.

Some of these points might seem obvious but sometimes it takes repetition for something to sink in.

1. Exercise will save your life

Life in our grandparents’ time was not as sedentary as it is now.  They walked to and from everywhere, they did most things ‘manually’ and they listened to their bodies and their circadian rhythms. You could say exercise was inbuilt in their routines and systems.

We, on the other hand, grew up erroneously believing that exercise was for the overweight or the infirm.

I appreciate now -decades later -how developing an exercise habit will save you, by Allah’s Mercy, from many lifestyle related diseases.

You can get away from couch rotting now but trust me you will not when you are older so build the habit now.

2. Trust your gut.

When something seems too good to be true it, more often than not, probably is. When you find yourself hesitant about or in a situation listen to what your gut is telling you. It is because your gut is trying to tell you better safe than sorry.

So many times I have come out of a nasty situation which, had I listened to my gut instinct, I would never have gotten into in the first place.

3. Do not doubt or underestimate the kindness of strangers.

If you look at certain key moments of your life you will find that the kindness of strangers has played a remarkable role. Looking back over the years my life has been peppered with the kindness of strangers at moments when I needed a miracle.

In these uncertain times I know we can be suspicious, cynical and that is important as stated above and caution might save your life but sometimes trusting is a release.

4. Not everyone who smiles at you means well.

I have learned this the hard way. Sadly, as they say, not everyone in your corner is on your team. Enough said.

5. Value experiences and connections over money and possessions.

I cannot tell you how many relationships I have seen break over borrowed blenders and carpet stained by visiting kids. So choose your battles wisely, determine what you can tolerate and let the rest go.

Things are meant to be used and people are meant to be valued. Not the other way around.

6. Let not movies and books inform your ideas about love and marriage.

Marriage, like anything else important, is a work of investing time, energy and. We should not view marriage through rose tinted glasses. There is a lot of time, effort and sacrifice that goes into keeping a marriage afloat. It is not love that solves everything- it is respect and many times compromise that does that job.

7. Be flexible. Don’t insist.

You don’t know which doors will open for you when you decide to let go of pre-conceived beliefs. Spontaneity and a ‘can do’ attitude will do more for the quality of your life than you realise.

8. Choose how you view your story.

If you take nothing away from this post but this then you will have done yourself an immense favour. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves informs almost every single aspect of our lives.

Be careful what stories you tell yourself. If you tell them through a filter of victimhood, helplessness and desperation, chances are frighteningly high that each step you choose to take will be based on that story. So choose to tell your story from a POV of empowerment, enthusiasm and positive energy.

9. Don’t wait. Time is not guaranteed.

You might be a 20 year old but that is no guarantee of anything. So seize the opportunities, savour every moment, and do not fall into the abyss of ‘when this happens then I will do this.’

There is never a ‘perfect’ time to live mindfully and intentionally. You live mindfully and intentionally right this moment which is the only moment you are guaranteed.

10. Best use of your time.

You are always deciding that.

You decide what is the best use of your time by how you choose to spend your time.

With the things you involve yourself with and the actions you take.

If you are sitting around doing nothing that is what you have decided is the best use of and for your time.

So decide wisely.

Imam al-Shafii said:

“Keep your soul occupied with good, otherwise it will keep you occupied with evil.”

Because it is Eid, I had to add three bonus tips 😉

11. Make friends and sit around company that is older and wiser.

I wish I had sat more with people older and wiser when I was a 20 year old.  They have lived longer, they know better about many matters.

Who knows? Maybe many of the idiotic ‘what was I thinking?!’ events might not have happened.

12. Carry yourself lightly.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Sit back, enjoy, savour, sample-  throw away your worries!

Maybe you are thinking it is better said than done and at times it is. But for the most part make the decision to take life moment by moment.

Breathe.

(Photo Courtesy of Unsplash)

 

 

13. Your looks or what you perceive as a lack of them do not define you.

Whatever you might think of your physical appearance, it does not define you.

Or make you worthier or less than whatever the case.

You are already worthy and you are already capable and you are already valuable.

Your only job is to believe that wholeheartedly.

Eid Mubarak to you all.

Other Photos courtesy of Pixabay.