6 Favours To Do Yourself.

If you are anything like me you have had moments in your life when you have felt stuck. Depending on how deep your rut or how frustrating your situation is, sometimes you feel there might as well be a real tether physically holding you back.

If you are anything like me you will have had times when you felt stuck. Depending on how deep your rut  or how frustrating your situation is, sometimes you feel there might as well be a real tether physically holding you back.

With some soul searching and brutal honesty with yourself you will find that you do not have to accept things as they are. If you shake up a few simple (but admittedly not easy) things, progress can be made. In fact, it is imperative that you do so if you are to move forward.

Life is too short and too precious to waste on things and people who are not conducive to your health and well-being. So do yourself a favour and:

1. Tell that mean girl who lives in your head to sit down and shut up. You know her. The one who says to you: ” You can’t do this, you are too old for that, who is ever going to want to buy this?”

Do not listen to her! Do not let her occupy prime real estate in your mind! In fact, turn her out, throw her out! If a friend of yours  spoke to you the way you let that voice in your head speak to you you would have probably cut her out of your life. 
(if you can call someone who would dare dismiss your dreams or scoff at them a friend)

So each time that mean girl comes up with a negative thought shut her up by replacing it with a positive one. Do not let negativity set up camp in your head!

“You been criticising yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”               Louise Hay 

2.  Stand up to that mean girl in the office , in your neighbourhood or your extended family. You know her. The one who finds a way to suck the energy and positive vibes from any situation. The one who tells you that the career you have chosen has no future or the school you are sending your child to is iffy and that the mark on your upper arm is probably skin cancer.

If you can’t avoid her, call her out! She will think twice about raining on your parade next time or making you second guess yourself.

3.  Power down. If you are always on go go mode you are bound to face burnout and exhaustion at some point. There is nothing honorable about being a workaholic. No matter how much we might claim to admire it, it is not a virtue. Rest and relaxation is vital for overall well being. Play is just as important as work. 

When was the last time you went out and had some fun? It needn’t be something grand- a simple brunch with a group of friends might be just what you need.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.”                                                                                                                                                           Anne Lamott

4. Power off.    Disconnect. Switch off. Literally.   

Carve out time to be by yourself sans distractions, children or even your better half. Make this non-negotiable.  Use this time to sit quietly and dream. No writing to do lists here. You can jot your thoughts down on paper with an actual pen rather than a keypad or keyboard. Believe me, this is more satisfying. Or you can sit and do absolutely nothing. The important thing is to step away from all the noise of modern day living and actually hear yourself think. You will see the world with new eyes once you get into the habit of doing this regularly.

5. Do Something out of character for you. Don’t go by the labels you give yourself. If you are someone comfortable with remaining behind the scenes then surprise yourself. Volunteer to help host your community’s charity event.  Enrol in a public speaking class (trust me, it’s not as scary as it seems), order something different from what you usually do when you are at a restaurant, read a book on a topic quite out of your comfort zone.

6. Adopt a Gratitude Mindset: 

Say Alhamdulillah (Thank Allah) for all the blessings in your life. Take the saying “count your blessings” quite literally. Sit somewhere and start counting them. They needn’t be big things although big is a matter of perspective. (One of the things I am eternally grateful for is that I have indoor plumbing and running water. I do not have to search for it for miles; I do not have to line it for it like so many others here in Mombasa.)

Seeking out things in your day that you are grateful for will have you always searching for the positive in life. Soon you will find yourself always in a state of thankfulness and joy.

It’s amazing what can happen when we are willing to step up and show up for ourselves; when we refuse to stand in our own way or let others block our path.   
Life will change……..but only if we are willing to.