Spoiler Alert: Rant and Unpopular Opinion ahead.
I have always had a problem with the “don’t quit” adage, concept, motto, mantra- whatever the cupcakes you wanna call it.
To me it’s a waste of time and hence a waste of life.
If something doesn’t work move on.
I mean.
Why insist on the same thing over and over again when clearly it is not meant to be?
Should you not be directing your energy and your time elsewhere?
“Winners never quit and quitters never win” so the saying goes.
Win what exactly? Money? Prestige? What?
OK, so there will be talk of many successful writers or inventors or investors who slogged away and spent decades of their lives to something not wanting to believe it couldn’t be.
This Mombasa Mommy thinks: No.
I believe you give it as much as you can afford to but after that let it go.
Which, I think, is precisely why people don’t want to let go of things.
They have invested much time, energy and usually suitcases of money so they are loath to let it go. They call it Sunk Cost.
If we stuck with something because we don’t want to be seen to be quitters and because so much of ourselves is invested in it- isn’t that kind of self defeating?
I know I am going to get a lot of pushback here but well, we are all entitled to our opinions.
And then there is something else.
I am seriously amazed at how people are willing to give up on a relationship(s), and not consider themselves quitters, without giving it too much thought.
When it is not people we are talking about but business ventures, a book or whatever the heck else people attach their self worth to, well, you will hear: “Keep at it, it will get better.”
It will get better? When? When I am old and grey?
We are told to teach our children not to quit……. as if there is shame in quitting what isn’t working.
I believe that comes from believing that we will live forever when paradoxically we are fond of saying ‘life is short.’
Nope! I am not convinced.
I believe the concept of ‘if at first you don’t succeed try and try again’ means you try something else or another method but they ought to be a time limit and only you can know what that time limit is.
Is there not another saying that goes :insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results?
Well, people should not quit on their families or relationships, they should not quit on their passions and……..
If no amount of effort and intensity is yielding any results then I think you should cut your losses and step back.
That’s a favour to yourself- self love at it’s highest.
We don’t always know what is best for ourselves or our loved ones and it’s better just to accept and move on. Do better with our time – which it goes without saying, is our biggest asset.
I believe it is so foolhardy to put in many years into something that is not yielding any result in the hope that it will.
It may or may not and for sanity’s sake you have to plan ahead and give it reasonable time.
Not crazy ridiculous sensational time.
If something cannot reasonably come into fruition until after three or four years and you have given it seven or eight years you are living on borrowed time.
The same reasoning applies :you cannot expect something to mature the way you want it within 6 months (when it takes longer) and then call it quits.
The meaning of quitting ought to be redefined.
If something isn’t for you, you are not excited by it, it does not keep you awake at night (the excited ‘I-can’t-wait’ kind of awake not the ‘Oh-Allah-when-will-this end’ kind) then quitting it is the most winning thing you can do.
I mean seriously.
Someone may mention that school is not for them and bores them to tears.
All things considered no one is going to go to college or graduate school or do an MBA if books and studying aren’t their thing.
And no one should expect them to.
That being said, for the young and impressionable, the minimum amount of time to spend at school is up until high school.
Quitting high school willingly- whatever your gender- is a roll of dice.
You may or you may not succeed in making a decent living.
It isn’t dependent on high school but the skills you (might) have learnt there. Success depends, after Allah’s will, on your mindset and your work ethic.
Saying winners never quit is not taking into account changes in taste, growing and circumstances.
Somehow when people say they have quit their jobs to write full time or go travelling with a backpack or start their own business we applaud that.
Why do we applaud that?
Because we all want the freedom to do what feels best for us. Freedom to do what we love.
Yet when someone quits some thing else everyone is up in arms about how winners never quit.
Winners never quit at the first try. But after 1000 tries and you are still there? Well, we know what we can call you.
Perhaps I am the only one who thinks like this but to me it is as clear as the nose on my face.
I also know I am going to be highly unpopular with this mindset of mine. But that’s alright.
Doesn’t make my thoughts wrong.
Quitting isn’t wrong at the best of times ;
it is just the connotation attached to it; that one is weak and lacks the self discipline or the grit to get what he wants and that is so wrong.
You are, after Allah, in control of your own life.
If in the event that quitting was the wrong decision at the time then that is a valuable lesson you will have learned.
If we are so quick to walk out on our relationships for the stupidest reasons then maybe we need to really look at what we hold as important to us.
That’s my belief.
I am allowed to have it.
.