Author: najma

I am a mother of three, born and bred in Mombasa, Kenya. I am passionate about books, writing, healthy living and getting people to see the best of themselves. Especially getting people to see the best of themselves.

Warning. That Shampoo Could Make You Sick

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Heads up, gentlemen, this concerns you as well as the ladies.

I was attending a lunchtime wedding here in Mombasa. The bride is a friend and the niece of a friend. As I went up to the stage to congratulate her I saw she had tears in her eyes. She was also sniffling as if she had a cold.

“Oh poor thing,” I thought. ” She is overcome with emotion.” I hugged her and wished her well. ” Tears of joy, is it? “

“No. Tears of allergy. I don’t know what is in these things!” pointing to her beautifully made up face.

I could empathise with her because I have the same reaction to conventional makeup and personal care products as she does. There are some nasty chemicals in there!

You see, our skin is our body’s largest organ. It helps regulate the body’s temperature, prevents the loss of essential body fluids and is a sensory organ for touch plus other functions that it performs for the human body. Because it is porous it is able to absorb whatever we put on it. So it’s very important  that what we apply as part of our beauty and hygiene routine be organic, natural and good for it.

Now after that lesson in Biology 101, the question to ask is: Do we know- exactly- what is in the products on our dressing tables and bathroom shelves?

As women, we love to take care of ourselves and maintain a youthful radiant look. We want thick healthy hair, glowing skin, strong nails and teeth. Of course, I know brothers out there want the same for themselves.

Unfortunately, the products we use to achieve this defeats the whole purpose and results, ultimately, in damaged hair and skin and worse, disease of the most horrible kind. 

There are many harmful disease causing ingredients in that bright red lipstick of yours, in that ‘herbal’ shampoo your friend gifted you and in that cologne you have been meaning to buy online that all the guys at work are revving about.

Here are some of the nasty things you can find in your make-up and personal care products:

  1. Synthetic or artificial colours: derived from petroleum or coal tar sources. These colours are banned in Europe since they are suspected to be carcinogenic.

      2. Fragrance: Found in many beauty and personal products such as for hair care and perfumes.

     3. Phlathalates: found in deodorants, nail polish, hairsprays and moisturizers.

    4. Triclosan- a known endocrine disruptor which wreaks havoc on the thyroid and reproductive hormones. Triclosan can be found in toothpastes, antibacterial soaps and deodorant.

    5. Sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) and Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLES)

    6. Parabens : these are preservatives found in cosmetic products and as well in the food industry.

If this list leaves you scared it should. There are many more nasty chemicals that we regularly use without knowing the damage they are causing to our health. 

A quick search on the internet will reveal that that brightening cream you are using for your face (mkorogo, anyone?) contains hydroquinone which is banned in many countries for its insidious harming of the body. The compliments we get from our colleagues about how well our skin is (temporarily) looking is not worth the pain and suffering that will come if we persist with the use of these products.

Start looking at the ingredients list of EVERYTHING that you buy. Do not just go by the recommendation that someone has made. The best thing to do is to carry around a list of these nasties so that the next time you go shopping you know what to avoid.

If you find doing that too much of a hassle, then use this rule. If you do not know what half of the ingredients are or you cannot pronounce them without throwing spit around (methylparaben, anyone?) or you cannot explain to your grandma in clear terms what it is then do not buy it.

Good people, great health is worth all that we can do to achieve it. It is our biggest asset.

What is the use of ‘looking good’ if in the long run we will end up being seriously ill?

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You Are Worthy.

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You are worthy because Allah created you. Because you are one of His creatures.
Because He knows your name.
As human beings we sometimes struggle with our feelings of worthiness and perceptions of our own value.
We see someone who has ‘more’ than us and we feel less than. We look at his big house, his four wheel drive and his gadgets and we feel less than.
We see someone who has ‘accomplished’ more than us and we feel less than.
We are awed by his multiple university degrees, or his lofty job title or the powerful people he knows and we feel less than.
A lucrative career does not make someone worthier and neither do excellent grades or being multilingual or being “gorgeous.”
Just know that you are worthy just by being you.
Ladies, take note- you do not have to look a certain way or look like someone else or take off your hijab to be worthy.
You do not have to torture yourself with toxic chemicals because you desire to keep up with the Khateebs or the Alwis. You do not have to be a certain weight or a certain skin tone. You do not have to impress anyone to feel valuable.
You are priceless just the way you are.
Parents, take note….your child does not have to bring home straight A’s or win academic awards for you to be proud of him. He is deserving of it just the way he is. Your child does not have to bend over backwards or reinvent the wheel or come out at the top of his respective class for him to be worthy of your love. Put no conditions on your love.
Love him for who he is.
Young people take note. You do not have to smoke, do drugs, skip school to be worthy of your ‘friends’ or to fit in.
You deserve friends who will hang out with you for who you really are.
Gentlemen, take note. You do not have to compete with others to be worthy. You do not have to waste the precious hours of your life trying to prove that you can be more than , have more than or be just like that man you envy and admire.
You are worthy whatever salary you make, whatever you use for transportation, however old your electronics are and even if she is the only wife you have.
You are worthy.
For those of us who are so very abundantly blessed, you can have all that you are blessed to have without believing somebody else deserves it more.
You can learn to be grateful for Allah’s gifts and blessings on you without feeling guilty for having them.
Can you not see that in itself is disbelief and a lack of faith?
It might be a challenging feat learning and accepting that we are worthy. Allah loves us and blesses us in so many ways and that in itself should teach us that we are worthy.
Our worthiness is not defined by age or beauty or net worth or achievements. The more we place emphasis on these things the more people will fall into self loathing and a sense of not fitting in.
You are worthy, dear reader. You are worthy. You have been worthy since the day you were born and your father gave you your name. You are worthy.
You are worthy of all that is good and safe and blessed. You are worthy of great health and prosperity. You have no need to apologise for yourself or your uniqueness which the Almighty bestowed on you. You are worthy. You are worthy.
Say it with me. I AM WORTHY.
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A Time For Weakness

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From the time they get the slap on their backside babies have known how to express their needs. New parents know that rest will not be forthcoming for them unless they meet those needs.

Children are unashamed and unabashed when it comes to being themselves. As toddlers they are curious and full of wonderment. They are also very self-aware. They know when to lay down and give relief to their tired limbs and when to keep going. They know no shame or guilt, they know no filters.

As they grow they start to realize that certain things are no nos. They see that some of their antics are being met with disapproval and that is when they start to hold back.

We are taught from an early age that we must not succumb to any emotion or action that might be perceived as weak.

We must not admit to tiredness or feeling sick or needing a shoulder to cry on. Men, especially, have been programmed or have had it instilled into them that they can be no tears for them (“big boys don’t cry”)

They must show control at all times – except perhaps when they knock their fingers while using a hammer. Perhaps then they are allowed a yowl of pain and an expletive or two.

If you are sick you must soldier on nevertheless because, well, to stop and take some rest would be a fault; a sign of not being able to cope.

You must not admit to being overwhelmed or panicked.

If you are a student – inspite of what our teachers would tell us to the contrary- you confess to not understanding concepts at your own risk. You must be well acquainted with all the formulas and all the names and all the dates. You do not want your school mates knowing that you are struggling even if they are struggling themselves. You do not want to be perceived as weak. You do not want the label “average “, “slow learner” to apply to you.

You must not let on, if you are a parent, that your kids are proving a handful and that you need help. You must do most everything yourself- from scratch if needs be- because well, how else will you measure up?

The standards we set and place for ourselves are ridiculous and inhumane.

Setting worthy and lofty goals is admirable but to pretend to have super human capabilities, to suppress our inherent needs, to be unforgiving of anything less than “perfection” that is the road to depression and anxiety.

 To always wear a face of control and an attitude of “having it all together” is to set a precedent for our kids that they must- no matter what- always have their wits about them and their lives be picture perfect.

Why are we telling them this? Why are we growing a generation afraid to show vulnerability, terrified of being themselves?

Perhaps we feel if we ask for help, or show a less than put together ‘in -control- of my- life” person- we will fall in other people’s estimation of us or worse in our own estimation of ourselves.

Perhaps we feel if we admit to not knowing or of being unaware of something we will be judged for it or even taken advantage of because we are so clearly uninformed.

Perhaps we think if we show our true selves and not what the world will have us pretend to be then we will not have the connection we seem to so desperately need. Even at the expense of our own authenticity and uniqueness.

But we humans are ‘weak’. We fall sick, we forget, we lose things and we make mistakes. Owning up to being less than perfect, of needing others, of not having all the answers well, that adds to our beauty as people.

If authenticity, being true to yourself, feeling and showing emotion, needing others, admitting overwhelm , accepting your humanness is a sign of being less than, a sign of ‘averageness’ then, my dear friends, I believe it is the time for weakness.

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