A wedding invitation showed up for me early last year.
For reasons I can not disclose here I was duty bound to go even though I would have rather watched paint dry.
Princess laughingly remarked that never in her life had she seen anyone more horrified to receive a wedding invitation.
That is how we introverts are, I think.
We want to be included, to be considered, to be part of something.
And yet we want, also, not to have to go, not to have to show up or take part. 🙂
So I took a look at all the things in my closet that would peg me as wedding ready and…….. they fell short.
In my eyes at least.
I felt resentful that I did not own a pair of shoes that was wedding worthy (yes, I know- scandalous!)
I felt resentful I had to start searching for an appropriate pair because, you know, I could not attend a wedding (which I did not want to attend in the first place) without some decent footwear.
To add fuel to the fire of my resentment, the weather, as much as I love all things rainy, windy and cool, didn’t lend itself to going to the CBD to hunt for a pair of Mombasa Mommy compliant shoes.
I also did not want to shell out a ridiculous amount buying from the expensive boutiques.
I also, most certainly, did not want to fight through the throngs of people around Markiti area for inexpensive ones.
So I huffed and grunted.
” who in this world doesn’t own a special pair of shoes for a special occasion?!”
I am cringing even as I write this….
” And who said we have to show up at a wedding with shoes different from our office shoes? ”
“And who said we have to attend every single event we are invited to?”
All this while knowing full well that I had received special treatment and the host(ess) had gone to great lengths to get the invite to me.
It goes to show you that no matter how far ahead we perceive ourselves on our enlightment journey, how far above being bothered with petty superficial matters such as these we are, we all (still sometimes) fall victim to our egos.
We can all self righteously judge others for being particular about which phones they would never be seen carrying, which shops they would never be caught dead patronising and yet here we ourselves are.
Yet even while knowing this, I still found more rhetorical questions to annoy myself with as I cleared up my desk at the end of the work day that day.
‘Conundrums’ of the privileged classes, you might safely say.
As I walked towards the tuktuk stage, still in a nasty petty mood, I had to overtake three young men, about the age of my own Junior, walking snail like infront of me.
It was only as I was passing them that I noticed that, as cool as the weather was, one of them was sweating buckets.
It was because- supported by crutches– he had to haul his body on one leg; the other leg having obviously been amputated.
My mouth fell open in shock and humility.
Here I was, Allah be praised, with my two arms and two legs and not a few moments ago complaining about something as trivial as a pair of shoes.
Here I was lamenting about having to spend a few hours in luxurious surroundings, partaking decadent high quality food and being in the company of happy joyful people.
So many thoughts raced through my mind.
What had happened to him?
How was he handling being at the prime of his life and walking around on crutches?
And how petty and ungrateful are you? The thought dropped itself into my mind…
….but the lessons for the day were not over yet.
The ride home had us stop at a busy junction. It was happy hour after all.
While waiting for our side of traffic to move, I saw a young man quickly fly past us from the pavement to the other side before the cars started moving.
His shirt was all over the place because of the wind but when I looked closely…..
…..it was all over the place because he had only the one arm holding it in place.
I was gobsmacked.
What were the odds of seeing two young men, in the space of ten minutes, one armless and one legless?
What lessons was I supposed to take from them?
It was then I realized that whenever I started taking any blessing in my life for granted, started adopting a mindset that was not befitting for a person who believed in Allah and His Majesty then reminders would pop up everywhere.
I cannot say, with all honesty, that I always recognize them as reminders.
Sometimes I look at them, say ‘huh’ and then move on.
And sometimes like that day, they hit me like a ton of bricks…..
So.
Did I get that pair of shoes?
I did not.
I went to the wedding with a pair I already owned and have worn quite a number of times.
No one noticed or if they did they chose not to comment. And there I was giving myself grief about it for nothing!
I ended up having an enjoyable time, too. The hostess was touched and thanked me for attending.
I felt like pond scum.
And before you ask- yes, I was suitably ashamed of myself.
The moral of this piece?
Our biggest blessings are those that money can’t buy.
I will leave you to decide what those are for you.
Stay grateful.